A weapon, howsoever powerful it may be,
Can always be superseded by a superior one;
But no weapon can, however, be superior to nonviolence and love.
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Remember that you came here realizing the necessity of struggling only with yourself and thank anyone who helps you engage in this struggle. - George Ivanovich Gurdjieff
It is easier to strike out at other people. Easy to attack with words and emotions. Easy to talk about someone behind their backs. Easy to character-assassinate without looking them in the eye. This type of conflict only protects your ego. Your ego protects you from change. Without change you cannot move on to fully express your talents with the world. The only conflict and struggle is the one with yourself. What is your struggle today? What are you growing out of? A job, a life situation, a bad marriage? Perhaps your bad temper, your wasteful ways. Growth is often made through conflict. Self-growth through self-conflict. If you do find yourself in head-to-head conflict with someone else, find the third way. Find a way different from the conflicting paths.
The back porch is more secure, but the fun is in jumping the fences. - Marjorie Holmes
Take the ram by the horns and take a risk. Try something new. Eat at a new restaurant. Drive a different way to work. Book a holiday somewhere you have never been before. Explore where you live. Do something you have put off for ages. Think bigger. Dream bigger. Act bigger. Have fun.
And yet, there is only One great thing, the only thing:
To live to see in huts and on journeys the great day that dawns,
And the light that fills the world.
- INUIT SONG
Take a break from your day and pause. Take a look around you and find the “one great thing” that connects you to everyone else. Is it in the song of the birds? The sound of the breeze in the bamboo. The sunbeam between the buildings. Take a deep breathe, smile and move on with your day just a little bit more relaxed than before.
Speakonomics! Ask @susangt about Write a Speech Now. Susan will send handy 2-page visual. Powerful Stuff! http://www.greatspeakingcoach.com
Also, check out the latest in great speaking tips at The One Minute Presenter’s Blog.
Loneliness is the poverty of the self; solitude is the richness of self. - May Sarton
Transformation comes from facing your fears surrounding change and pushing through them. As they say, life can be lonely at the top. Instead of being lonely, take moments or projects where you are forced to be disciplined to reach a higher level of performance or awareness. No one can meditate for you. No one can control your eating or living habits. Face your fears and your dreams alone. Learn from them and share your learnings with the world.
After 5 months of training, taking two months off chocolate and along the way losing about 8kg, I completed my first Ironman race in Haikou, Hainan in South China. It was a blazing hot and windy day and almost 100 competitors did not finish.
It was very tough mentally but the feeling of crossing the line was great, and made even better with my wife and two brothers cheering me on.
After such a peak race, I will happily return to middle distance Olympic races and look for new challenges to fill the 20 hours a week I spent on training.
I once read a book on becoming a CEO and one tip was, “Do something hard and lonely”. Well pounding through the long course of 3.8 km swim, 180km bike and 42km run is an experience that really tests your character and determination.
Rather than a lonely experience I found it a connecting and enriching one. I read this quote yesterday that sums it up, “Loneliness is the poverty of self. Solitude is the richness of self.” - May Sarton
Swim:
Bike:
Run:
A big obstacle that holds many people back is a belief that certain skills or talents are inherited and cannot be learned. For example, many people say that they are not a natural sales person or public speaker. But, in reality, these are skill sets that can be learned.
Other talents might be harder to acquire. Can charisma be taught? How can you coach resilience?
While training for an Ironman triathlon race, I have realised that some of these less tangible skills or states of mind can be learned. Mental toughness is one area that I have improved as a result of training consistently for five months, watching diet and curtailing social occasions. When I was in Hainan over February I realised that another factor - the environment - was a new challenge. Extremely hot weather with strong wind blasts were not in my mind when I was in the gym in January. But each challenge becomes another checklist of ways to work through and around the challenge.
Over the next few blogs I am going to share what I have learned in the preparation for the Ironman. Lesson number one is if you want to build mental toughness, do something challenging that seems almost impossible to acheive.
A large challenge that makes you ask yourself, “Can I really do this?” or “This is a massive challenge” is about right. Today I am sitting in Hainan with 30 days until the race and training in the heat and I am still asking myself this question. A good challenge is one where you need to be on your game right up until the final minute.
What do you do when someone does something to annoy you? Often it will be your reaction to their “annoyance” that will cause more conflict that the original “offense”.
If you are irritated by the environment or people around you, or react in a negative way (anger, frustration), try this simple technique: Full Force Five.
Before reacting to the situation, take a pen and quickly write down five things that are currently great about this situation. No matter how trivial the five things may seem, write them down.
Read through your list of five and then go back to the situation. You should feel a little more positive about it now. By inserting this “space” or “pause” before you allow yourself to response will help you stay more positive - and more importantly avoid taking on the negative energy that drains through your body every time you get irritated, frustrated and annoyed.
Staycations have become more popular during the tougher economic times of the past year. Essentially this means that people are staying at home or close to home instead of taking overseas trips. That’s good news for the local economy and especially home entertainment products,like video games.
Most people have one or two big vacations a year and spend a lot of time planning and anticipating them. But wouldn’t it be great to have an ongoing vacation throughout the year. This is where the staycation idea can be used.
My wife and I plan monthly ‘away days’ where we take a weekend to visit somewhere outside the city, like a mountain or scenic spot. If we are really pressed for time, we visit a large park for a day. Taking the time away from our regular city life provides an opportunity to destress and reflect on life. We always come back refreshed and more purposefull about the month ahead.
Even busy city professionals can add a staycation idea to your regular week. I like to take a day (or half a day) off-site from the office and choose a cosy coffee shop or healthy restaurant (with Wifi!) and work in a different environment. Really it’s no different from the office. I have my SKYPE, my telephone and computer. The new space helps me think in different ways and without the small interruptions of office life, I am much more focused and concentrate on my work with a higher level of clarity. This also means that you schedule your time more effectively when you are in the office.
So see how you can insert blocks of staycation time into your schedule. It will break up your week and refresh your energy levels. Living in a city is tough on the mind and body so do yourself a favour and take a regular staycation.
Links:
Credit crunch causes £27m UK holiday boom as ’staycations’ sees tourism industry cash in
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