I spent a wonderful couple of weeks in Bali relaxing after an intense year. It was great to escape the computer and all the doom-and-gloom news. All this talk of bailouts of companies and industries led me to think how effective they would be. In my experience, internal change is much more effective than externally-driven change.
Think back to when you were a child. Was there ever a time when your parents tried to “force” change upon you before you were ready for it? I remember sitting for hours as I refused to finish my gammon and potatoes, and no amount of threats or guilt about the starving children in Africa made me eat any faster. I just didn’t want to eat them. The fact that I am a vegetarian now may explain why.
Visit a supermarket at the weekend and you will see and hear the clashes of externally-driven change among the shopping aisles. Children screaming and kicking and shouting at their parents, who are often shouting back. It’s a sorry scene (I hope your local supermarket is not as bad as mine!) but there is a deeper lesson here for us all. How can we make positive change effective?
Reacting to change
This is the form of change we have grown up with. Your parents telling you to clean your room, do your homework and you reluctantly and begrudgingly obliging. It’s slow and painful for all. And, the minute the stimulus disappears so does the action. The change is only successful as long as someone is standing over us and threatening us. This could explain why many people never reach their goals and dreams. Once you leave full time education with no more exams, there are no more goals imposed upon you to achieve beyond finding and turning up for a job on time and achieving a minimum level of performance so that you don’t get fired. This is not a great way to live but many people find themselves in this trap. So how can you become a driver of your own life?
Find your motivators
What gets you going? What gives you energy? What do you need to do so that you look at the world with rose-tinted glasses and can only see optimism in your future. For many, exercise at the gym or playing football with friends gives them that connection. For others reading a good book in a comfortable coffee shop will do it. Or perhaps a drive into the countryside or trip to the beach will arouse good feelings.
If you had a totally free 48 hours that you could fill with all the enjoyable activities and fun things, what would those 48 hours look like? Have a balance of physical, mental, solo and group activities. Make a perfect weekend for yourself. Look at your calendar and make a commitment that three months from today you will enjoy a weekend as close to your perfect weekend as you can. Put it in your calendar. Block out the time. Make it happen. By taking a time three months from now it is highly likely that you have free time.
Mini-refreshers
Find pockets of time in your weekly schedule to refresh yourself. Book a couple of sessions at the gym during lunch. Take Sunday morning to get back in touch with your family life. Take only an hour or two and be fully present to enjoy them.
If you are stuck in a rut and would like to get out and live a life of passion through better health, more wealth and greater contribution, we can help. Contact The Change Catalyst for an initial complimentary coaching session.